French Fries, the student

A new semester brings many new things. In this case, as many of you have anxiously awaited, a new list of ridiculous/awesome student names. 

Looking back over the previous two semesters' lists (seen here and here), I have noticed a slight progression towards the crazy and ludicrous (relatively speaking, of course). Perhaps, as my initial pep and enthusiasm has worn down a bit, I haven't continued to instill them with a sense that their chosen name should be the epitome of class and grandeur and that it represents their generation. Not that I ever really did that, but at least I used to try and guide their choices (which usually meant I simply told them that they shouldn't choose a ridiculous name like the ones they are prone to choose). But I soon realized the fruitlessness of this (an especially ironic word, given that many students ignore my "wisdom" and choose a fruit name like Apple, Cherry, or Grape) and now simply let the pieces fall where they may. Yes, I could tell them they must choose a different name upon hearing the "name" they've chosen for themselves, but I don't. B-Dawg and Blue Baby are just too much fun to say. 

Another trend I've noticed (as have the other teachers, a few school leaders, and upperclass students) is that the general level of English of incoming students has been steadily decreasing. This comes as no surprise, as the school continues to lower the standards of admission to bring in more students (i.e., more money). As my observation of this trend continues, I think I could make a graph to plot what has become another apparent trend: the lower the level of English for the student, the more likely they seem to choose a "unique" name. There are definite exceptions, of course: the vast majority of the 300+ students I teach, regardless of English level, still choose a standard English name. Conversely, some of my top students have chosen some of the more interesting and amusing names. For example, Bob. Bob was wonderful to teach last Spring and is still one of my favorite students. You should also note that Bob is a girl. 

The truth is, for most of the students I teach, my Oral English class is the one semester of English these students will really have (at least where they will need an English name). After their semester with me, their English name will be irrelevant, unused, forgotten. A few of the students (and often the ones with the most ridiculous of the ridiculous names) won't even come to class after that first week or two--it's almost like they know they're going down, so they might as well go down in flames. For most of the students though, there is no consequence outside of my class for the name they choose, so why not have a little fun? I've learned that they're going to choose that absurd name if that's what they want, so I won't try to fight it. And I've also learned that life, for all of us, is just that much better when I have the joy of calling on Pizza or French Fries to answer my questions. No one laughs when I call on Wendy or Sarah. 

For a more in-depth explanation of why many students choose the interesting names they do, plus the Spring 2011 names list, check here. For the Fall 2010 list, click here. Now without further delay, your day's bliss:

Names so common that I am no longer phased

Happy

Apple

Snow

Rain

Candy

Cherry

Coco

Smile

Seven

Ice

Icey

Icy

Names conceived while hungry

Salad

Pizza

Cocoa

Turkey

Ice Cream

Hamburger

French Fries

Tiramisu

Banana
Rasine (pronounced raisin) 

Names that should not be

Cloris

Mooya

Dats

Tob

Names that cannot be

atRose

Naix

Jcinta

So close

Kete

Levin

Vincy

Vivn

Kames

Dommy

Names that can be declarations

Done
Never

Students with competing names and the one student who will have to choose between them

Nokia

Motorola

Businessman

Boys with girl names

Helen

Names that are actually titles

Major

Diva

Names similar to what they had, right there in River City (and it starts with ‘D’ and that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for ‘Pool’) 

Double

Names that evoke the Care Bears-esque perpetual bliss of our childhood 

Miracle

Shinee

Cupid

Angel Baby

Eden

Dream

Dreamy

Memory

Sweet

Lucky Q

Purple

Air

Names that evoke the bleak, post-apocalyptic world from Terminator II  

Arrow

Somnus (x2) (A god of the ancient Roman pantheon, residing in the Underworld) 

Blue

Burning 

Silence (x2)

Windy

And there you have it. A longer list this time, but not bad considering I teach over 300 students a term. I'll take that. 

One more thing before you go: I've thought that it'd be nice for you to see some of my students, since you've certainly heard about them. The first ten photos are actually from last Spring when I took each class to the beach near campus. The last two are actually from last night: I invited some former students to come to my apartment and play Bingo. Total riot. I love these students.