And Wngel was his name-o

I only have one student who is happy, but she isn't smile. In fact, neither of them are exactly cheer or song for that matter. Fortunately, none of them is rainy. Or rain. 


But one student is Summer. Another is July. A third is Saturday, and certainly none of them are zero--she's in a different class. 


Wait. 


She?


Yes. Zero. I have a student named Zero. And I have a student named Happy. And another named Smile. Song and Cheer are Sophomores. Summer is in a different class than July, but Saturday is sometimes in the same class as July. Rainy is a guy, but Rain is a girl. 


These are my students, and these are the names they have chosen for themselves. 


There are more, too. Would you like to see my favorites? Great, I've listed the names below. And for your benefit, I've taken the liberty of listing the names by category:

Emotions or their physical manifestations

Smile

Cheer

Song

Cherish

Happy

Nouns

Kite

Coco

Pottery

Honey (2x)

Ark

Zero

Boss

Gray

Candy

Hippo

Astrological or meteorological terms

Rain

Rainy
Snow

Sunny

Sky (2x)

Gemini

Athletes, fictional characters, and other persons of repute 

C-Ronaldo (As in Cristiano Ronaldo, Portuguese footballer)

Kobe

Voldemort

Seasons, months, and days

Summer (2x)

July

May

Saturday

Students who don’t understand what their name actually means

Anchoret

Names that sound like something else

Cassle

Cassiel

Manssle

Onlea

Bata (pronounced “beta”)

Shi (pronounced "sure")

Rabby

Names that could be consumer products

Siran (Saran wrap)

Elmar (Elmer’s glue)

Miscellaneous

Amaranta
Only

Not really sure

Jourfer

Wngel
Sunmile

Fail

B-Dawg (female student)

Blue Baby

And these are only my students. 

To be fair though, most students pick very normal names. Wendy, Lily, Cathy, and Cindy are quite popular. Most of the students with the above names, I assume, fully understand what they've chosen. As their teacher it's a fine line to walk though: when do I intervene? At what point to I tell them their name is ridiculous and they really, really should chose another one? Is she really aware that Blue Baby is quite possibly the most absurd idea I've ever heard for a name? Does he really think giving himself the same name as an inanimate object is a good idea? I've asked a few if they realized the significance of their decision, and they said yes...but part of me doesn't believe that means they really get it. 

I don't know though. I'm torn. On one hand, it's endlessly amusing--easily one of the funniest parts of my experience so far. On the other, it might be a form of negligence. You know how they sometimes say that there are two kinds of people in the world--those who do bad things, and those who see bad things happen and don't try to stop it? I might be that second type. I might be a bad person. 


Names aside though, my students do look normal:

You may notice a disproportionate number of female students, and that's because there is a disproportionate number of female students--a 9:1 female to male ratio, to be exact. It's an understatement to say this school is swimming with girls. Boy-crazy girls. 


I don't even have to explain, because you know where I'm going with this: Giggling groups of love-struck girls. Longing gazes. Awkwardness abound (for me, at least). 


It's a difficult mine field, navigating these girls, yet I've managed so far. Mostly it's amusing. One time, it was surprising. Horribly, agonizingly, uncomfortably surprising. I'll give you the abridged abridged version:


Girl likes boy older male (who is also a teacher and cannot, on ethical grounds, date students).
Girl invites older male to watch a talent show where she will play a song on guitar.
Older Male, not wanting to be rude, goes. 
Mistake.
Girl plays song at talent show. 
Girl is done.
WRONG.
Surprise! Girl has another song to sing.
Girl calls older male on the stage with her. 
300 students watching, older male cannot say no.
Girl sings song right to older male.
Song is for the older male.
Song is about the older male.
Song is about the girl and the older male.
Longest three minutes of the older male's life. 
300 students watching.
Awful.


Funny too though--but only later.


But now that the year's most uncomfortable and awkward experience (and for me, that's saying a lot) is out of the way, I'm left to deal solely with the day-to-day. Namely, the blunt compliments my students send my way. "Very handsome" and "so clever" are chief among them, but I also receive numerous comments about my smile or my curly hair. I was even told once that I have shiny eyes. The Chinese are a blunt people. There's no shame in commenting on another's physical appearance. There's no need to hide your curiosity or your inquiry. There's no need for tact. So handsome! So clever! How old are you? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want a Chinese girlfriend?


It's harmless, really. If anything, it reaffirms my belief that anyone from the U.S. can be a rockstar in China.  


The students are really wonderful though, and I've loved getting to know them. They are an earnest, endearing, funny, odd, blunt, friendly, and jovial group. Their excitement to get to know me and show kindness to me have been unmatched. If I invite students to lunch or dinner, they usually will buy the meal for me. One time, I was knocked over while going after a loose ball playing basketball. Typical basketball stuff, nothing bad, I got right up. A student of mine, who was watching and saw this, went to the pharmacy and bought medicine for me. Since she didn't know what kind of medicine I needed, she bought "all of it." 


There are many more stories and students like this that I could write about, but I've already filed those away neatly in my brain and I don't feel like retrieving them right now. Also, it's late and I'm tired. But don't worry--there will always be plenty more of funny and amusing stories from my encounters with students. I hope to do a better job in the future of writing more frequently too. My hope is to make posts more like little snapshots of daily life, and less like the massive composition pieces I've been churning out about every three weeks. My excuse for not doing this is that I don't want you to get behind on your reading--when you check once a month (because you're used to only one post a month) and now, suddenly, there are thirteen posts. So it's really your fault. You need to check the blog more frequently.


I'll stop now because you're tired of me and I'm tired of you. Until next time.


P.S. You've probably noticed a new look to the ol' blog. Well, a new title at least. I never really liked the old title--felt a bit uninspired and prefabricated. And to be honest, it was a little too easy. You know me. You know I'm only happy if it's clever or pun-ish or unique; never so straight-forward.


Hence the new title. Technically, it's still the same title as before, just a different way to write it, Rebus puzzle style. And, being a bit of an aesthete, I prefer the actual look of the new title much more than the old one. Maybe it's the lack of caps--very in vogue for blog titles, I hear.


Oh oh! And don't forget to check out my Flikr photostream now and then. I've been busy adding lots of China pictures--many more than the few I've put in this blog. Go to the sidebar or the very bottom of the page to find the photostream and just click on the pics to take you to my photo site. Your feedback is appreciated too. :)