And now for the best part about teaching English in China: student names. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the best student-chosen names for the Spring semester:
Note: The following names are categorized using my own methodology--the students are most certainly are unaware (at least for most names) of just how perfectly their names neatly reside within said categories of my own creation. All names are written as spelled by students.
The usual
Summer (x3)
Smile (x3)
Sky (x2)
July
June
Candy (x4)
Numbers
One
Five
Seven (x3)
Eleven
(Seven and Eleven actually sit next to each other in class, although it is apparent to me that this is just a coincidence--they seem to carry no knowledge of the multinational corporation of convenience stores of the same name.)
Girls with boy names
Bob
John
Fruit
Grape
Lemon
Apple
Cherry (x2)
Mango
Condiments
Hot Sauce
Jelly
Alternative spellings
Winni
Amily
Marry
Merry
Jary
Carry (x2)
Close, but not quite
Mancy
Spancer
Mitchie
Mag
Christm
Brand Names (although I'm pretty sure they're unaware of it)
GE
Moen
Things you might associate with the Arctic Circle
Numb
Fir
Polar
Snow
Sea
Icey (x2)
Allusions to Landmark U.S. Supreme Court Cases
Roe
Synonyms for James Bond
Assassin
Lover
The parts of speech
Basic nouns
List
Dove
Rosebud
Viola
Bell
Jury
Poker
Blue
Jet
Verbs
Answer
Power
Echo (x2)
Adjectives
Dreamy
Adverbs
Forever
Nobility/divinity
King (x2)
Queena
Luna
Too much creativity
Mena
Yosam
Joyee
Lusam
Ludy
Jicey
Klima
Thydorle
Carstin
IRian
Jimison
Hedy
Not enough creativity
Lady
Lest you all consider my students to be incredibly stupid, naive, or strange, I took upon myself the task of discovering (and subsequently sharing with you) the reasoning behind these name choices. What I discovered has almost completely legitimized, in my opinion, all but a few names (I mean honestly...Lover?).
The answer to your question is yes, my students are fully aware that the name they've chosen is a number, or an adverb, or a condiment. To you and me, the name "Fir" might be strange and amusing, yet to the Chinese, it makes sense. Understanding this requires an understanding that Chinese names, unlike most Western ones (that is, as far as we are aware--let's be honest), are steeped in meaning. For example, Xueyou means "studious and friendly", while Qingshan means "celebrating goodness." Naturally, many students pick a name that carries with it (in their mind) a desirable meaning. Fir chose her name because she hopes "to be strong and sturdy like the Fir tree, unwavering under pressure." Candy is often chosen by girls who want to be "sweet and wonderful." I think you can guess what Dreamy had in mind. Understandably, many students chose a name that suggests strength, kindness, warmth, peace, leadership, or a number of other typically desirable attributes. And my students do realize these names are just for fun--July and Summer picked their names because, well, because that time of year is warm and there's no school. Makes sense.
Some students pick a name because it's simple and easy to remember, like Sara or Jack. Others chose a name because it sounds like their Chinese name. Some will even take the letters from their Chinese name and use them to inspire or create their own English name (see Too much creativity, above). Maybe a student chose a name because it is something, or someone, they like or admire. For example, Snow likes the freshness and cleanliness of snow. Seven likes the number seven because it is lucky. Jet's name comes from Jet Li, a famous Chinese actor and martial artist. Poker likes Lady Gaga (the name Poker, of course, comes from Lady Gaga's hit song "Poker Face"). In any given class, the boys will often choose the names of their heros--which invariably are basketball players--hence the common occurrence of Kobe, James, Wade, Lebron, and Jordan. This also explains how Hot Sauce, Answer, and Assassin got their names--those are the nicknames of popular street basketball players from the And 1 street basketball circuit.
This new understanding has provided an interesting insight into the mind of my students. Bell (who I think actually meant Belle) wants to be a pretty and lovely girl. Blue loves the color blue. Simple, and it tells me a bit about what they desire or think of themselves. And this is good news, for I no longer doubt the proper neural functioning of some. I understand how and why Dove got her name, and it actually makes a lot of sense. Same for Rosebud. Not so sure for Thydorle.
I've debated whether or not this has ruined the fun for me, now that I know for sure that Hot Sauce is fully aware of the condiment status of his name. Maybe it makes me a bad person--secretly hoping that Polar is oblivious to the odd nature of her name--but ultimately it doesn't matter. Assassin is still Assassin, and Numb will always be Numb, and calling their names in class will never get old. Here's to teaching English in China.
Justin, this is fabulous. Brilliant categories...and I also love your explanation of the reasoning. (Perfect blend of humor and education.)
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