Time to play

Short and sweet:


1. Christmas was great--just a relaxing time with the other American teachers. Lots of food, movies, games, and loafing--just as it should be.


2. My gracious thanks to those of you who have given money for the orphanage. I have continually been moved by the love and kindness of those around me--friends, family, students. It's amazing how He works through anyone to accomplish his tasks. The outpouring of kindness and love from my students, most of whom have no...religious "convictions" (shall I say?), has been incredible. They have not lived in the climate of religiosity like most of us, yet that has not stopped them from giving selflessly: giving money, knitting hats and scarves, donating clothes and school supplies, and even helping me organize a fundraiser. Amazing. They are filled with love too.


3. Now for the best part: I'm going away for a while. 


Two months, actually. 


Yup, I get a two-month winter vacation. Not bad. Do you know what else is not so bad? I'll be spending that time with some good friends in Indonesia and Thailand. After spending New Years in Bali, we'll visit Java, Sulawesi, and Malaysian Borneo (basically the most beautiful place on Earth. Amazing jungles AND amazing reefs/ocean life. Remember the "Jungles" episode from Planet Earth? Remember how most of the episode was shot in Indonesia? Yeah, that's where I'm going!). 


After Indonesia, we'll head to Chiang Mai, Thailand, and then a bit more wandering near Bangkok and southern Thailand.


I don't think life get's much better. I am so excited.


Of course, these means you will hear nothing from me for two months. But rest assured, I'll have about 3000 photos to share when I return. So look forward to that. 


Until later.

The best night of my life

There comes a point in one's life when he realizes life doesn't get any better. For some, maybe it's when they get married, or have their first child. For others, the day the Cubs win the World Series (which will be soon, I promise). For me, it came tonight: Christmas caroling in China.

There were nine of us American teachers spreading the Christmas cheer, wandering from one dorm to the next, standing outside as we sang Christmas carols to our students inside. 

 Braving the -9º  weather (that's ºC, not ºF, folks), we sang for about an hour and a half. Some of the taller, lankier, less-appealing members donned Santa suits.

The best part of the whole evening was the reaction we got. Unbelievable. Probably the most joyful and happy thing I've had the privilege to experience--I just wish I could capture even a fraction of the experience for you. Alas, I'll try anyway: upon our arrival to each dorm, we announced our presence with an angelic horn (uh, or a trumpet that one of the other teachers accompanied our singing with). Like little foxes popping out of their cozy little hole to investigate the odd sounds they just heard, the windows of the dorms would fill with the faces of the eight curious occupants inside, peeking out from behind the closed curtains. Soon the windows would open and the girls would all be piled on top of one another, positioning for a good view. As we sang, scores and scores of students watched from their windows, waving and yelling "Merry Christmas!" as we sang. 

And then they came. Crowds of curious, happy, laughing, surprised, happy, curious Chinese girls poured out of the dorms once they realized we were there to stay for a while:

This is just of fraction of the audience at this dorm. Moments later, we had a crowd about three times this big encircling us. It didn't take long before the word spread and students emptied from other dorms too. Fortunately, this was our last stop, because we were swamped with picture requests. My Santa suit was something of a novelty, so you can imagine the picture requests with "Santa" were more than I could handle--but I loved it. The students loved it. They were so excited, and so were we.

It really was (and still is) indescribable. The students (pretty much 100% girls, since the campus is 90% girls anyway and the boys don't generally seem to care as much about these sorts of things) were so happy and excited to see us. They loved our Santa hats. They loved my Santa costume. They just couldn't believe what they were witnessing. I really felt like a rockstar. 

We even had groupies for a while. These students followed us for a bit before the cold was too much for them.

 The students also brought gifts when they came out to see us. By the end of the evening, we all had our hands full of things the students had given us. This isn't a rare thing either--the Chinese will give gifts all the time, usually food of some kind, and it's often spontaneous. Whenever I run into students walking around campus and they have some kind of food (usually an apple or orange) they will always give it to me. Always. This is one of the more endearing things, in my opinion. They just give. They give and give. It doesn't matter if it's the only one they have left--they will give me that last orange if they see me on the path to class. And so it goes with this caroling: the girls brought us gifts of food. I love it. 

 Here I display a few of the gifts I got: s sucker, some glow-sticks, and yes, a carrot. The oranges I also had received are out of view. 

I can't wait to do this again tomorrow (and neither can the students. Word quickly spread about our musical escapades and the whole campus is abuzz. They will be ready for us when we come again, since tonight we caught them off-guard). It's a little frustrating that I can't fully convey the experience through this blog. Just know that this has to be one of my greatest memories, and not just for China. This is one of my greatest memories, ever. I will not forget this, ever. 

Ever.

I think what I loved about it all was the pure joy and elation that the students showed. They were so happy to see us. They couldn't wish us Merry Christmas! enough times. When we sang "Jingle Bells" they all joined in, since that's really the only Christmas song they know, and I was so excited to be sharing this part of Christmas with the students. As Christmas is still very foreign to China, the students are always excited to learn more and participate in celebrating with us. They love learning about American holidays, and it has been a joy to share Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Ah...

I'll stop, because I'll just keep going if I don't.

Can you tell this was an experience that I enjoyed just a little? 

And now on to other Christmassy things.

Earlier this month, I invited some of my students over to my apartment to help decorate it for Christmas. In my naiveté, I assumed my students would be eager to learn about how Americans decorate so that they could then decorate my apartment just like I normally would at home in the States. They had other plans: 

 The Christmas tree I made. Yup. Nothing but yarn and parts of other, non-Christmas trees. Who says I can't be crafty?

After the students have had their way. They even made a star to go on top. 

According to my students, the firework-looking explosions hanging from my ceiling were for sale in a local shop, marked "Christmas tree." Naturally, when they purchased the items, they assumed a Christmas tree is what they bought. I set the record straight. 

 You see the various paper creations the students assembled and hung from the yarn. Quite the collection of paper and its various artistic uses.

The traditional "balloon face" that I enjoy making each year. Oh, this isn't a part of your Christmas decor? That's a shame. The nose and freckles are hearts and butterflies with my students' names written on them.

No, the decor is not of the traditional variety, but I like it. Bright colors and flashy, shiny things. Very Chinese. Very. And that's why I like it. I'm in China, so I might as well have Christmas with Chinese characteristics.

 In these two pictures, my students are gazing at the pictures on my computer. They are enthralled with any and all of my pictures. My one regret in life is that I didn't have a video camera to record their reaction when they first came to my apartment, since I have scores and scores of pictures hung around and they were amazed and excited at the sight. They entered and immediately set about discovering every picture, followed by a chorus of oohs and ahs. They also traveled in clumps, which is another favorite characteristic of the Chinese. They will clump and cluster--squeezed next to one another because personal bubbles don't exist here--and stare intently and curiously at anything that isn't Chinese. These photos demonstrate the clumping well. 

More Christmas things:

I did my final lesson on Christmas. I taught my students about both the cultural traditions (i.e., Santa, elves, et al.) and the original, true story of Christmas. At one point I had them drawing pictures either about Santa and his ilk or about the Christmas story. I decided that you needed to seem some of them yourself:

Artistry and concept ranged from the rather skilled...

...to the not-so-skilled...

...to the, ah, abstract:

Some boasted rather liberal interpretations of the Christmas story:

Others chose a more modern take:

A few others:

 The indispensable yet highly under-represented Elf Mice and North Pole Starfish.

 Timeless Santa

Avant-garde Santa

Minimalist Santa

Floating baby Jesus 

Why the single curly hair?

 Not really sure

My favorite picture. Possibly disturbing, always thought-provoking.

Without blabbing for pages, I will say that I've enjoyed this Christmas season despite it's non-existence here. Not being surrounded by Christmas on the street, in the store, or while watching TV has made it difficult to "feel" Christmas, but it's been a fine experience. I actually don't miss it so much--at least the commercialized parts. I do miss snow and carols and advent, but in their stead I get these drawn pictures, my home-made tree, and mobs of students asking for pictures with me/Santa. You can't buy things like that. 


And my students have been so wonderful and generous and loving and great during this time. Many have given me gifts for Christmas, some of which have been very thoughtful. They care so much for me, and I really love them--they're my little darlings. I was very sad to teach my last lesson, knowing that I will not be their teacher again (unless the school decides to keep me as their teacher next term and not assign me different classes....which I really, really hope they do). With one class (and not so surprisingly my favorite class), when I had finished the lesson early and dismissed them with about five minutes before the official end of class, they just sat there. They didn't move. They didn't say anything. They just....waited. They were so sad that it was all over and didn't want to leave. I had just told them that this might be our last lesson together, ever, and they were visibly upset. I explained multiple times that I was finished early and they could leave, yet still they did not move. So I just let them stay there. I didn't say anything, and neither did they. We all just stayed there...but it wasn't awkward. It was really special. 


I won't forget that either.


And I won't forget this Christmas. It's been full of unique and entertaining experiences, most of which I'll never have time to write, but you can always know that I'm having an amazing time every day. I know this post is long (well, I guess they all are), but there was just so much I couldn't not tell you. Plus there's a bunch of things I just wanted to get into the blog before I go on my two-month winter vacation. (Yup. More on that later.) So please excuse this long ramble of a post as I try to formulate some type of closure, now that my first semester in China is already done. 


That's nuts. I hope life slows down just a little...because I'd like China to last just a little bit longer. 

This one's for the kids

I go to Beijing every month. 

No, I haven't seen the Forbidden City. Or Tiananmen Square. Or anything famous, really. 

They're great sights, and I'm sure someday I'll see them--but I don't go to Beijing for those things. Every month, I join a group of other American teachers to visit an orphanage. This was one of the ideas of another teacher from my program; she was in China last Spring for a short trip and worked closely with this particular orphanage. She was so moved by the experience that she decided to move to China as an English Teacher so that she could spend more time at the orphanage. This is why she came to China for the year.

That was a pretty clear message to me--that a place, that the experience there was so powerful that she would spend at least a year living in a (very) foreign country to experience more and give more. When she told the other American teachers in our program that she'd be going to visit each month, I figured that was something I needed to be a part of. 

So here I am, after three visits, feeling the way she does about the place. (Maybe. I don't know--I'm not her. Whatever.) I've gone each month, I'll be going again in a week, and I'll continue going until I leave this place or die or both (yes, both). 

Our first visit in September was my first visit to an orphanage of any kind. It made me wonder why I had never done it before. Laziness, probably. Or indifference. Or maybe it's just easier to "deal" with difficult social/national issues and problems when you're in someone else's backyard.

I vividly remember the first visit, especially seeing the incredible joy that filled the children when they saw and recognized my teacher friend who'd been there in the Spring. They ran to her arms. I'd never had a child run into my arms before, and seeing that scene was powerful to me. I instantly realized why children--especially Chinese children--are so beautiful (and sometimes stinky, but still mostly beautiful). They had such joy and excitement. And they wasted no time--we played right away. We played games. We laughed. We ate food. We did all the things children should do. They are happy children because they are loved. 

Sadly, this does not appear to be the norm. I fully realize that the problem of neglected orphans extends beyond China, as orphanages in any country are depressing places to be sure (with many notable exceptions of course), but Chinese ones seem to have a particular brokenness. My discussions with others about their personal experiences have painted a desolate picture, but it's hard to gauge; I haven't seen any truly disparaging scenes with my own eyes, and I may never see such things. As a foreigner (and thus, de facto judge of Chinese civility, humaneness, and dignity), I have to suspect that some things shown to me will be veiled. The challenge is always knowing which things I see and experience genuinely, and which things have a foreign-friendly facade of aesthetics and morals. My visit to a different "orphanage" in Qinhuangdao this last Saturday was a mystifying experience, mostly because I have reasons to believe many of the children--the suspiciously happy and well-dressed children--weren't actually orphans. I have a strong inkling that there's a whole secret world of orphanages that someone of my status will never see. 


But maybe I'm wrong. I must admit I am speculating, so I should be careful. I will say, however, that many Chinese orphans are often not technically orphans--their parents just don't want them. Many are rejected by the parents because they have a physical or mental condition. Others suffered debilitating or distorting accidents or diseases. I won't pretend to know what cultural or societal reasons would compel a person to reject their own flesh and blood (nor should you), but I can assume that being rejected by your parents has to be one of the most agonizing experiences a child might endure. 

Yet despite that, these children are filled with joy. They are loved, and they are cared for. At this particular orphanage, they receive mostly children with mental and physical conditions, largely because this Beijing orphanage is known for the incredible love and care that the children receive, not to mention a relatively high adoption rate. It is certainly a special orphanage in this regard. While it is not the only orphanage in China to provide such (relatively) positive environs for orphans (albeit still quite nominal), it is of a rare quality--few exist like it. And I think I can say that for almost any country, not just China. Regardless, it is a mixed bag: these particular children are in the best place possible for them as far as orphanages go, yes, but what about all the other Chinese orphans? Especially the ones with mental or physical conditions? What will they do? What will happen?


I know a few answers. I know that once a child turns a certain age (14, if I recall), he or she comes under the legal guardianship of China. That's a euphemistic way of saying the child will be taken from the orphanage and put into a "labor preparatory school." That's not the name, but I don't really know what else to call it. It's a place where a child can be turned into a factory drone. 


My mind is tempted to make lots of accusations. Accusations about this country, this government, these people. I'm angry about this. I'm confused. I'm bewildered. But I can't (and won't) allow myself to blame or hate. I can't allow myself to point fingers. I must remember that 99% of the people in this country are incredibly kind, gentle, and loving. I must love the few people who would treat a child like a disposable commodity. (And I will quickly point out that every country has big problems in one way or another, not just China. I'm certain that other countries also have this issue with desolate orphanage conditions and parents abandoning children. I'd bet similar things happen in the U.S.--to a different extent, perhaps--but it's not just China with abysmal conditions.) 


My first step is to understand. I've gleaned some understanding from the orphanage director, and other teachers, and I will continue to add more to my experience. I am curious, and somewhat apprehensive, to see what I discover. It helps me to remember that everyone, everywhere has problems. The U.S. has some pretty big problems too that make me frustrated and sad. China has many wonderful and beautiful things. I must remember to discover and ponder both. It also helps to think about the kids. They are proof that He exists. I see their smiles and forget (as I think they do too) that they are orphans. It doesn't matter that I don't know enough Chinese and they don't know enough English. It doesn't matter that I'm from the U.S. and they are from China. There's something ineffable about the moments there. 

Perhaps these pictures can say more than I can:

This is my favorite little girl--she calls me "big brother."

Probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. (Kristin, another teacher friend, is there on the right.)

Tim, teacher friend, with the rambunctious boy known affectionately as "Bruiser."

My favorite little boy. I snapped this shot looking down as he clenched my legs. You can't buy things like this.

Same boy. Look at that smile. 

I am discovered with my camera. Curiosity ensues. 

Bruiser beckons me to come play with him. I oblige.  

I am starting to fall in love with China. It has problems, like any country, and I will sort them out as best as I can. This post isn't meant to bash China. It's meant to engage the abysmal circumstances. Every country has them--I just happen to see China's because I live here. A Chinese person living in the U.S. would certainly have some troubling things they could blog about too. But really, this post is about the kids. They are in need, and I'm going to use my blog to help. 


Here's the part where I ask you for money. 


For Christmas, the other teachers and I want to get gifts for the children, mostly because they have nothing. Also because they have nothing. Some of the gifts will include proper winter clothing, other gifts will be toys. But we need your help, and more specifically, your money. I won't beg. I won't plea. I won't be mad if you don't. All I can do is ask. So please, consider a gift to these children. 


If you'd like, you can send money to me via my PayPal account since this is infinitely easier than any other way. This does require that you have a PayPal account yourself, but setting one up is quick and easy and simple and good and really? you don't have five minutes for the kids? and it's useful because you can use your new account for lots of other things too. When sending money through PayPal, you'll be asked to include the recipient's email. Just put my gmail address (justin.crull@gmail.com) and you're all set. 


Should you desire, you can also donate to the orphanage directly by going to their website. This money wouldn't go toward Christmas gifts, but it is always needed because the orphanage is not state-run, meaning all funding comes from private sources. Perhaps this is a way you can give in the future? Think about it. 


It has been a changing experience to visit these children each month. They are a reminder that life is still beautiful and full of worthwhile things. They are a humble reminder that I'm pretty darn fortunate to have the things I have (thanks, Dad and Mom...and America). They are a reminder that I have no right to complain. And they are a reminder that the best things in life, the most powerful and beautiful things, just might be the least of these. He was on to something, that one guy. You know what I mean.