How do you think American's culture?

An interesting question, perhaps one to be explored later, but providing an answer--or discerning the actual meaning--is not the reason that I mention it. I chose it to demonstrate a fairly typical example of Chinglish--what I encounter on a daily basis from signs, clothing, and my students. Generally, Chinglish refers to English that is influenced by the Chinese language. 


We are all aware of the bizarre, comical, and sometimes gut-bustingly hilarious examples of poor English translations that originate out of China, but why is it so prevalent here? What is it about the Chinese-to-English translation that lends itself to such bemusing results? The easy answer is to stay it stems from a limited grasp of English--which is true--but that doesn't explain why China seems to have such a high rate of hilarious and epically botched attempts at English relative to other countries. The answer lies in the nature of the two languages. Specifically, the grammatical differences, which provide a wealth of areas where translating can go wrong, usually with hilarious results. 


Chinese is a difficult language. The Cubs may never win it. The Back to the Future trilogy is one of the greatest trilogies ever conceived. All quite obvious things, yet I feel there is a bit more about Mandarin Chinese that you should know before you write it off as one of life's greatest mysteries: it's not so crazy, and learning English from a Chinese context can be just as daunting (I think). But yes, you're right: Chinese language is a juggernaut not easily tamed.  


But there is an angel, and its name is grammar. Where Lady Mandarin perplexes and confounds my efforts to learn her words, her dear grammar is a sweet and unbelievably simple melody--it makes English grammar look like differential calculus on crack. Here's just a taste: 


NO:
-plurals
-articles
-conjugation
-genders
-tense


Great news for me. Beautiful. But here's where the difficulty of learning English in a Chinese context levels the playing field a bit. Understandably, moving from the grammatically simple Mandarin to the absurdly complex English is no walk in the park. 


And thus, Chinglish is born. Through the rest of this post are some favorite examples I've pulled from just this last week of class (I had some American visitors in class and gave my students a chance to write down any questions they had to ask my guests). 
  
-How do you think American's culture?
-How do you think about China?
-How do you think of Chinese girl?
-How do you think freedom?


A common tendency of my students is to ask 'how' as opposed to 'what' when asking for my opinion/feeling about something. This is because in Chinese, the equivalent question  typically begins with the word 怎么 (zenme), which translates into English as 'how'--a good example of when a sentence is first created in Chinese and then translated word for word into English (usually a recipe for disaster). You will also notice, as demonstrated by the lack of 'about' or 'of' in the first and last sentences, that prepositions constantly present the Chinese with trouble, especially since Chinese is primarily a postposition language. Some more examples:


-Do you smoking? 
-Are you have girlfriend?
-Are you like to eat Chinese food? 
-Are you like volleyball?
-How old are the old man?
-What are their name?
-Does all American likes fast food?


Conjugation is perhaps the biggest culprit in Chinglish conception--here we see the common difficulties with do/does/are/is/was/be/etc. Combined with tenses, you've got a perfect storm for Chinglish. Here are a few more conjugation beauties you might hear on any given day:


-"To be honestly, I think..."
-"Water is good for your healthy."
-"What are you think about?"
-"We were talk to you last night."
-"How long have you been live in China?"


...and I could go on for pages, but you get the idea. For me, it's a never-ending joy ride through the beauties of language. I love it. 


Another difficulty that I find quite amusing is the trouble with articles, particularly 'a' and 'the': 


-Do you have the boyfriend/girlfriend?
-Do you believe in the God?
-In China how do you think about the society? 
-Do you have bike?
-Can you drive car?


Again, this could go on. I've actually turned this into a little game for me, for my own amusement. I add/remove/change articles when appropriate. Wait, I'll ask the friend. Do you have an internet? When will you go back to the America? 


A lack of gender in Chinese language also makes it difficult when speaking English. My students routinely mix up 'he' and 'she', although for this problem they are always quite quick to fix it. Still, it's amusing.  


Word order is often quite different between Chinese and English, so in the common event that a Chinese sentence was simply translated word for word into English, you get some pretty good gems. That, combined with improper translation of words, can lead to some real beauties, usually seen on signs or clothing:


-"Please accept inspection consciously"
-"Please slip carefully"
-"No Nearing"


And now for the rest of the student responses I kept from last week, he he. Some demonstrate the difficulties I mentioned before, while others are straight-up epic. You'll see what I mean.


-I want to know if America use chopsticks?
-Which food do you favorite in China?
-What means of American Halloween?
-Why did you choose to this?
-In America are there all the students work hard. Why?
-Which several parts that American culture by?
-What kind of forms that American wedding?
-Why the Americans are like football?
-Americans to Chinese impression.
-What's you like most of China.
-The differences with other national, and the Americans very special habits. 
-Who is your worship of idols?
-Why the USA family have too many Children?


The last question is my favorite. You can't make this stuff up.


And to be clear, this post is not meant to make a mockery of my dear Chinese students and friends. I have no doubts that, should I be in their shoes, my attempts at English would be just as mangled. I simply want to share with you the joys of being a native English speaker in China, and that learning a new language, while frustrating at times, is quite hilarious and wonderful during others. 


And so that's it for my mini lesson on Chinglish--and I didn't each touch the difficulties that the Chinese have with speaking/pronouncing English--that's a whole other world altogether. Just consider yourself lucky (assuming you're a native speaker) that you don't have to learn English pronunciation, because it's seriously messed up. (Really, have you ever tried explaining why 'flower' and 'flour' are pronounced the same? Or why 'boot' sounds like 'hoot', but 'foot' sounds like 'put'?) Chinese pronunciation is much simpler and consistent in this way. But English? There are about 10,000 different sounds to pronounce. 


I'm counting my blessings on that one.